Health and Safety and the death of the world.

In my opinion, Steven Slater is a wonderful man: a shining beacon of sanity in the dark and murky world of Health and Safety. And the following explains, albeit in a very long-winded fashion, just why.


Slater launched himself down an escape slide from the side of an aeroplane, beer in hand, after finally losing his cool with an abusive passenger. "Marvellous, he must've thought to himself, yes. I'm fed up of these complete morons, and there's no way I can win. The airline is sued if I don't tell the bastard to sit down, the airline is sued if I do." - bound by red tape niceties, you could say.


 This entire incident only seems to demonstrate to me the sheer stupidity of some members of the general public. When did they become so aggressive, so disrespectful, so lacking in common sense? It is a known fact that cabin crew's word is law in an aircraft -  there is more to their job than presenting you with unpleasant, damp tuna sandwiches and in-flight complimentary drinks: they are there to ensure your safety. If they tell you to sit down, you damn well sit down. 


It would appear this passenger obviously thought herself exempt from aircraft safety procedures, by attempting to remove her luggage from an overhead compartment whilst the plane was still moving. Such utter moronic behaviour and arrogance boggles the mind. And indeed, it hit poor Slater on the head. And yet, as police descend upon his home, desperate to find something 'foreign' and 'suspect' about his character (as everyone is a potential terrorist) the passenger, who instigated the entire proceedings, is not reprimanded in any way. Indeed, the police and media are more concerned with highlighting the "potential hazards Mr. Slater posed to the ground-staff by releasing the emergency exit". 


They are more concerned about what might be, rather than what actually happened. That is exactly it - Slater's dramatic exit from his career as a flight attendant only seems to be 'the tip of the iceberg' as it were (how I despise using such idioms). It only acts a pointer towards a society - our society- that is so wrapped up in red tape and permission forms, health and safety lunacy.. There are so many managers at my local hospital, they outnumber the actual professionals, the doctors, the people qualified to do the job in the first place. Why, I ask, is it necessary, to have people to manage people to manage people to manage people to manage the department to manage the consultants, to manage the staff, to manage the patients..need I go on?


Oh but I shall.
Let us consider: in today's health and safety conscious society, a single health and safety man can inflict more damage on business and industry than an army of Gordon Browns. My father has had to put foam coverings on the corner of windowsills in his practise waiting room, on account of them being 'a potential hazard' to unruly children. What the hell is wrong with instructing your unruly child to sit down like a good boy? Rather than letting him run amok around the room, showing no respect to the furniture, fittings, staff, or other peoples' eardrums? And when the said unruly child knocks his head on a pointy windowsill, what does the mother do? Instead of saying 'I told you so', she files a complaint. I could almost pull my own hair out at the idiocy.


Welcome, my friends, to the mad and dangerous world of the Health and Safety executive. They do an  important job, they say, of preventing nuclear power stations from blowing up, or stopping schools burning down. And naturally, I don't deny the Health and Safety gods prevent children from climbing up chimneys, and banning baby walkers as there is a risk of the toddler toppling into a fire.  And then there's the need for preventing the 'incalculable human cost' of a person falling over every three minutes in this country. The human cost of the Holocaust was incalculable, whereas I slipped on my kitchen floor only this afternoon and it cost nobody nothing. 


Health and Safety, they say, is "the corner stone of a civilised society." - and it would be, if everyone and everything in the world were wrapped in fifteen layers of bubble wrap. But I disagree - they appear to have missed the point. Our society is gradually reaching a point where being 'safe' is more important than being happy. 


I'd rather go through life taking a few risks - slipping in the shower, abseiling down a cliff without filling in a risk assessment, taking a picture of my children in a play without being accused of paedophilia. I'd rather follow Slater's slide down the emergency exit slide of life than spending each day working to stay upright whilst filling in a form.