Emo-ness

With recent events, year 2 at uni has hardly been easy. It's meant that I have spent more time in my dear Plymouth than I ever thought possible during term time. Yet it has raised in me a deep sense of appreciation for my home and family that I would not have been made aware of otherwise. Being diagnosed with depression was something that didn't exactly come as a shock - I did think it a little odd that I would burst into tears over my pen running out, for instance. I knew at once that was not me.. But the sense of realisation only came when I was sat in my tutor's office, being told it would go on my student record and be taken into consideration for the rest of my academic career at Exeter.

That aside, the most poisonous thing about the condition is how my faith in humankind has been drastically reduced. The side-effect of depression is the feeling of loneliness and isolation that often leads people who are unaware of my inner turmoil to suppose I am being deliberately aloof and anti-social. I am painfully aware that I sound like an absolute emo in saying something like that, but truth of the matter is that for once in my life I have to be selfish and stop feeling responsible for everyone and everything. This means keeping myself happy so that the rest of my life can follow suit in a reasonable fashion. In a sense, I can realise something positive - it has strengthened and deepened both friendships, my relationship, and my bonds with my family. I find the best way to deal with hardships is to make them funny, although often that humour is disconcertingly dark in content.

The above witterings have reminded me of something I saw the other day, the Vampire Diaries, fresh from America. Like most of our TV now. It is, honest to God, one of the worst and deeply comical TV shows I have EVER seen. Admittedly, I have not read any of the books the TV series is based on. As A result, I view the show as sacrilege in comparison to Twilight. Or perhaps that's my obsession with Robert Pattinson. Emmy and I were left rolling around with laughter at the predictability of the plot and the cheesiness of the lines. A lot of it was damn unrealistic, such as the young, handsome history teacher, seemingly the only member of staff at the school, shouting at Aunt Jenna for being a terrible parent figure, laying into her with such venom that it entirely destroys its credibility. I detect a faint whiff of fantasy somewhere here, on part of the writers. The girl (the Bella Swan equivalent) spends her time writing the same sort of sorrowful lines "today I will smile and it will all be OK" over and over again. One emphasis is enough, not repeating the same sentence every episode.

I am being cynical and overly-critical yet again, I suppose. I should just accept the Vampire Diaries for what it is: another off-shoot of the vampire craze currently sweeping the States. But I really do hope my blog is not as wet and unconvincing as the script writing of this show.